Are you ready to make the ultimate commitment with your long-distance partner?
Do you want to make your long-distance relationship into a marriage?
It’s exciting times! Let’s not forget about the fun times!
LDR dynamics are quite different from a relationship that is geographically close. Making a long-distance relationship workable for marriage requires a lot more thought, reflection, and discussion.
It was hard work getting engaged to and marrying my long-distance friend. I can tell you that it’s not the same as living under the same roof. It’s more challenging to feel connected.
These were the things that I thought would have helped us to sign our marriage certificate. We wouldn’t be together today without them.
- More than a strong connection
- Check that your partner is aboard
- We are here to help you get married
- Take some time to get to know each other
- Be stable in your life
- Pre-marital Counselling
- How to Register Your Long Distance Marriage
- Have each other’s back
- Don’t rush into it!
To help you out I’ve made my mind to create this guide on how to turn long distance relationships into a merriage.
Signs of Great Long Distance Relationships: More Than a Strong Connection
You might need to slow down if you have only been talking with someone online for a while and one of them is already thinking about wedding bells.
Marriage is not just about feeling passionate for someone. Passion can fade, whether you like it or not. It’s not possible to keep the flames burning 24 hours a days. Marriage is not the way to “lock down someone”!
You will enter into a union if you choose to wed. Your families will also be connected by it. It will be a deep commitment between you. You will strengthen your family unit if you decide to have children.
All of this is on top of the fact that marriage confers many marital rights to your future spouse. These rights include next-of–kin status, custodial right, certain spousal medical decision-making options, tax filing options and spousal privilege.
You should be on the same page in many areas if you’re considering marriage. Take, for example:
- Do you want to help your partner balance your dreams and aspirations together?
- Are you still in touch with each other?
- Have you ever met the parents or family of someone you know? Are you both from the same family? Are there potential issues on culture conflicts between your families.
- What is your opinion on the idea of starting a family? Do you want to have children? Are children possible? Adoption?
- Do you plan to combine your finances? What amount will you share?
- What is your approach to problems? Are you different? Do you have any concerns about your partner’s behavior, such as anger and jealousy?
Are you and your partner open to changing if you aren’t on the same page about any of these issues?
Check That Your Partner is Aboard
A successful marriage takes two people. You should talk about marriage soon with your long-distance partner.
It can be difficult, especially if it’s your first time raising the subject. It can be even more difficult if you and your partner are still at odds and don’t know how things will turn out.
It is also important to plan how you will end the distance. You need to plan how you will end the distance. This includes who will move and where. If you are not able to provide confident answers, it might be a sign that you aren’t serious about marriage.
How to Turn a Long Distance Relationship into a Merriage: Some Concerns
A spousal visa may be one of the easiest ways to get permanent residency in certain countries.
We don’t recommend getting married just for the visa.
Make sure you get married if you both decide to wed
- You have spent a lot of time together, and you feel a deep, intimate connection.
- Your relationship is multi-layered and you want to build a long-lasting partnership.
- You both love each other deeply and are passionate about it. Now you want to take your love to the next level.
- There are many common goals.
- There are no major issues or doubts between you.
We don’t recommend that you try to convince your spouse that they will “fix” their distance by encouraging them to move. You’ll end up living apart as a married couple if neither of you agree to relocate.
The Dangers of Marriage Fraud in a Long Distance Relationship
Many sham long distance marriage applications are dealt with by immigration departments. The immigration lawyer who we met for our application stated that at most half of U.S. spousal visa applicants were not bona-fide relationships.
This might be a red flag if you are just looking to end a long distance marriage and apply for a spouse visa. The immigration departments have seen everything and have the final say.
You will need to show evidence of your relationship history, even if you are honest about your marriage. To prove your good faith marriage, you will need photos, ticket stubs and chat logs.
Take Some Time to Get to Know Each Other and Make Your Long Distance Relationship Work
Spend some time with your friends if you haven’t already.
Online, how we present ourselves is only a small window into who we really are. You can choose how much of yourself you want to show or present at any given moment.
Spending time with them is a great idea if you are looking to make a lasting commitment. If possible, you should keep it long-term.
You may discover things about someone you live with that are not obvious when you chatted online. You might be unaware of a particular habit or belief they hold that you cannot ignore.
Moving in together after a long-distance relationship can be a difficult adjustment. For newlyweds, it can be even more difficult!
Be Stable in Your Life
Although you don’t necessarily need to be stable with a mortgage-free car, a fully funded retirement plan and a mortgage-free home to get married, it doesn’t hurt having your house in order.
Marrying someone will not make your problems disappear if you aren’t in a positive place in your life.
It may feel great to spend a lot on a wedding reception, as well as a luxurious honeymoon. This will bring you closer for a while. But if you don’t have a plan for after the wedding it could all go sour.
Keep in mind, however, that visa applications and moving to other countries can be costly. My visa application and transport costs cost me up to $4,000, according to my own experience. It will cost you even more if you hire an immigration lawyer.
We Should Be Focusing on the Positives of Long Distance Relationships
Separation from your partner can seem to be a negative thing. While you cannot immediately alter your situation, you can instantly change your outlook.
Although it can be frustrating to see your relationship split up, there are a few things you can do to make it work. Are you able to spend more time on hobbies, working out, or with your family? Keep a list of all the good things about long distance. Focus on them when it is getting you down.
Seeing a premartial counselor will give you better chances of a happy, stable marriage.
Counselors can help you and your spouse identify and navigate difficult topics. You can discuss your marriage roles, your beliefs, values, and how you deal with problems.
Before we made the decision to marry, my wife and me spoke with a premarital counselor. We were still living apart so we called a virtual counselor to chat over Skype.
Talking to one can be costly. You may be eligible for a discount through your insurance, or another program.
Although we ended up spending about two to three sessions, it was still quite helpful. The sessions helped us identify the issues that were really troubling us and help us to figure out how we can approach them.
How to Register Your Marriage
When it comes to registering your marriage, there are many options.
It is best to be in the same country as your spouse. You should check to see if there are any laws in your country regarding inter-state marriages. Also, make sure you know if your state has restrictions or laws about who you can legally marry. If it doesn’t, you should consider it.
This may prove more difficult if you live in different countries. Many countries offer “fiance” visas that allow someone to enter the country for a specific period. It is expected that the visa holder will marry their partner within that period. The visa holder can apply for a change in status to become a resident visa after the wedding.
This is the U.S. equivalent to , the K-1 visa.
You can also check with your country’s laws or consult an immigration lawyer to see if you are allowed to marry in that country without a special visa. Your marriage certificate can be used by you and your partner to apply for a spousal visa to any country where you intend to settle. This may take longer than the initial option.
Check your country’s immigration department website. You will find indicators that indicate how long it takes them to process your immigration application. Expect to wait for months or even years in some countries.
Remember, application processing times can also be affected by a country’s political climate or its immigration policies.
Have Each Other’s Back
It is difficult to plan a long-distance wedding.
My hometown was the venue for our wedding, which I could see as difficult for my wife. It can be difficult to get a feel for how your wedding should look without being there.
Although she was there to book the venue, she had to leave soon after. I took over the task of coordinating vendors, photographers, and bakers. About two months before the big day, she finally joined me.
There were also many difficulties in managing the expectations of our family. This was particularly true for cultural variations, managing certain family members, as well as all the fun aspects of planning a wedding. But with the extra distance!
Planning a long-distance wedding is a real challenge.
Don’t Rush into It!
You may feel that marriage can accelerate your relationship if you have been apart for some time.
It can make things easier in certain respects, but we believe that this decision should not be taken lightly .
The marriage will not only involve you two, but also your families. Even if you come from different cultures, you will both be able to tie the knot together.
You can take your time if you are still unsure if marriage is right for you and your spouse. You might need to be more focused on you before you commit to becoming a partner for your entire life. You might also feel more at ease moving into marriage if your partner is present in person.
No matter what, if you truly love each other, you will do everything you can to make it work.
Create a Long-Term Plan to Merge Your Worlds
Anyone who has been in a long-distance relationship knows the pain of not being with the one you love. You’ll need to create a plan to bring your two worlds together if you are in a long-term relationship.
No matter if you are planning a wedding or an engagement, make sure that your plan includes the next steps at the right time.
The hope of being together for the long-term can be a great way to get through the worst days. A little hope can make the person you love seem closer.
You may also want to consider hiring a relationship coach to make your long distance relationship work.
Before you jump into this new life, spend time to understand how long distance couples establish and maintain emotional connection.
And it goes way beyond video calls. However, don’t get discouraged. Long distance relationship can ceratinly work if you know what you should do and take efforts.
Alison has been in a long distance relationship for over 5 years. She knows all the challenges and pleasures of ldrs perfectly well. Alison is happy to share with you all her personal experinece and tips on ldr through her blog posts. Stay tuned!